Scout

My soul dog, Scout, died on March 24, 2026, the darkest day of my life. He was 2-1/2 years old. He was playing in the yard with his brother, Skipper, and I was in the yard as well, cleaning up poo. I heard a whimper and turned around, and Scout was laying on his side. Skipper was across the yard so I know Skipper didn't hurt him. I ran over to see what was wrong. He was gone within 2 minutes. My life and I will never, ever be the same. I laid in the yard with him for 2 hours. I could not get over the shock and devastation of losing such a young dog, my best friend, my rock, so unexpectedly. I was not thinking right for days, but that night, Scout was taken to a local emergency vet and he was cremated soon after. I had no idea what killed him.

Since he passed, I have done a lot of reading. I believe hemangiosarcoma killed him. I suspect a tumor burst and shut him down. I had never even heard of this horrible, horrible disease. But I know if he had it, there was likely nothing I could have done to save him or even given him a much longer life. I remain brokenhearted at the unfairness of it all. I was supposed to have another decade with him. 

We were so IN LOVE, which sounds weird, but I will explain. I have had dogs my whole life and have loved every one of them. I got Scout, my first golden, when my son was preparing to move away after college. It has just been me and my son for 22 years and we were very close. I knew I was about to face a tough time and I thought a "velcro dog" would help me not feel so lonely. Scout was actually more than a velcro dog, he was my rock. He was so velcro, I ended up having to buy him a brother so I could get some work done (I work from home). The one thing he did that was different from every other dog: He would get up in bed, lay down parallel to the "other" pillow (I do not have a mate), butt towards me of course (haha), and rest. But after a while, he would sit up, and I knew what was coming. Time to quickly move my phone, the remote, anything on my lap because he was going to FLOP OVER on top of me. He would proceed to stare into my eyes for 20-30 minutes. He loved me so much and I him. 

And now he is gone. It will be 8 weeks tomorrow. I have not, nor will I, get over this loss. It was the worst thing I have ever dealt with in my life, and I have not had an easy life. I still have Scout's brother, Skipper (he is from the same parents, one litter later), and I got him a companion shortly after Scout passed, another golden named Ranger. I have also put a deposit on another golden from Scout and Skipper's parents, and he will join our brood in late June. His name is Captain Chips (Captain in Honor of Palmer, Scout). The hole in my life is so enormous, I am filling it with other dogs. None will be my soul dog, none will be Scout, but I will love them and care for them and give them a great home.

I read online today about Morris Animal Foundation's study of 3,000+ goldens and a focus on hemangiosarcoma. I am so very grateful that there is research taking place so that we may save other goldens in the future. They are, without a doubt, the best dogs in the world. 

Scout, I will love and miss you forever. MOM.