Uzume

Uzume was born to an accidental mating between a new couple's purebred registered hunters (Black Lab dad and Akita mom) on November 21st 2014. I was searching for a service dog, and a companion to help our anxious Aussie Border Collie puppy (rescued mother's day 2014, born Feb 28th. He was supposed to be my service dog, but he ended up with a mental illness called Genetic Neurosis). I grew up with Akitas, and my husband with Retrievers, but we both agreed a mix breed would be best. After a few days of looking all over, this random ad pops up for Black Lab Akita puppies.

We brought Uzume home on January 22nd, just after midnight. She was feisty, and proved to be a really good influence (though, sometimes a bad one 😅) on her big brother. She went through a phase where she would steal the socks off your feet! We couldn't wear socks without shoes for a month!

Uzume (ou-zoo-may) is the Japanese Shinto Goddess of joy and happiness. This name couldn't have been more perfect for this beautiful soul. At 4 months old, we came home after a short errand (it was only 20 minutes, but the longest we'd been away so far). Uzume was so happy and excited for us to be home that she started smiling with full teeth! From that day on, almost every moment of her life she was smiling! We paired the word "smile" with the action, and within two attempts she would give smiles when asked. It took me months to finally get a picture, even if it was still blurry, of her smile. She was incredibly intelligent when it came to who she'd smile at, and how big she'd smile, though sometimes she couldn't help it. She would never smile at another dog, only humans.

As she grew, and grew, and grew, we made a move to avoid excessive rent increases when she was 8 months old. Unfortunately, the place we chose had toxic drywall. She was most effected, and mostly lost the use of her back legs for the year we lived there. We didn't know it was the drywall until we had moved back to our original area, and suddenly she made a full recovery. It was then a process of elimination, and putting the pieces together. I also ended up with health issues, one requiring surgery. We also believe this is what lead to her sudden and early death as well. During this time, we carried her, made a sling, did laser therapy, and she spent a lot of time at the vet with all trying to figure out what was going on. Her depression got bad, but we made every effort to take her on adventures as often as we could. Through it all, she maintained her spirit and love of life.

After we moved back to our old place, she gained even more love of life and adventure, and another unique quirk! After she went poo (and was fully recovered), she went to kick, like dog do to spread their scent. However, due to a combination of happenings, she instead developed a "potty dance." She would do her potty dance 95% of the time after a poo, and it was the cutest and funniest thing ever! I watch the video I have of her potty dance wherever I really need a laugh and a smile, even if it still hurts. She made every single person she ever met smile, and brought so much goodness into this world. The amount of times I heard "I was really having a hard day, and she just made everything better! Thank you," I can't even count. 

Throughout the almost 7 years of her life, we made a bond that would rival the one I have with my husband of 16 years. She was truly my child (I have had 2 humans, so I know that bond), and I loved her more than anything in this world. I called this a soul bond, a bond that is so rare, so deep, that the loss is devastating to the very core. I knew one day I would lose her, but I never thought it would happen so quickly...

After we moved once more to escape the deteriorating situation in downtown Portland (between homeless, mentally ill drug users, overall violence, and increasingly violent protests it was not a safe living environment), and found a really nice place on the west Portland border, the unthinkable happened... It started as sudden and extreme swelling in her back right leg with no injury. After a very late night ER visit, testing, and imaging, she was sent home to be monitored with antibiotics and an anti-inflammatory. After an hour of being home, she began to hemorrhage down her still extremely swollen leg. Back to the ER, and she was on critical support and had to stay in the hospital.

Due to my medical knowledge and ability to care for her, she was sent home still on critical status, because there wasn't more they could do that I couldn't, and her mood was very very low (she's never done well away from me). I stayed up with her, only taking short naps while my husband could monitor her. She was under constant 24/7 supervision, heavy medications, and some serious antibiotics. Thankfully, our love and support paid off, so we thought, and she looked mostly recovered after a month of intensive care.

Then, it happened... It was the first time we had gone out since Uzume's leg thing happened. My husband, myself, and my best friend figured we really needed a respite after all the stress of the previous month. We went out and played mini golf, but I had this horrible mood and only wanted to go home the whole time, though I did force myself to ignore my gut and have fun. When we got home, everything was good, so we thought. My husband and best friend went to sleep, but I stayed up because Uzume was "acting strange." About 2am, she went to get off the bed, and wobbled. I immediately woke my husband and we rushed her to the ER again. This time, there was a definitive diagnosis; a tumor on her liver had ruptured, and her blood loss was severe enough to require a transfusion. However, the tumor's location was fatal. In her condition, she wouldn't have made it through surgery (she was given a less than 20% chance to survive surgery with blood transfusions). This was also, now known, to be the cause of her leg issue. It's likely that another tumor ruptured down her leg as the cancer metastasized. It was the hardest and most painful decision I've ever made. I had my husband bring her brother, so we could all be there in her last moment. I spent days in a full panic attack, so bad that my doctor had to prescribe me medication just so I could breathe.

On August 22nd 2021, I lost my soulmate. On September 5th, I got a tattoo of her paw print. September 6th, we drove to her favorite place in the world, Rockaway Beach, and we held a small memorial service for her with a few close friends and family, scattered a large pinch of her ashes into the Ocean, and stayed the night in her favorite beach front cottage. 

​​​​​​It's been a few weeks over a year and I'm still feeling that panic, that pain, and ugly crying as I write this. Uzume embodied her namesake, and so much more. My husband mentioned a saying that really stuck with me: The brighter the candle, the faster it burns out, and she filled the entire world with her light.